"You're getting married next year? Am I invited?!"

So you just got engaged and everything is going according to plan. You visited your favourite stationer, resisted the urge to choose 10 different themes for your wedding, found the perfect paper, font and layout and managed to send your save-the-dates 7 to 10 months before the big day.

The bad news is: the secret is out. There is no way to hide the fact that you are getting hitched and you should be prepared to face the dreaded self-imposed guests!

We strongly believe that every bride and groom should be able to party like they want, where they want and with whom they want. However, we also know that it is difficult to exclude people, even those that weren't even on the "maybes" list. So here are a few answers that will help you to sail through a self-imposed invitation with grace and delicacy:

"I am so lost! Can you believe that I haven't even finished the guest list yet?"

The classic bride-in-distress speech should be able to make your self-imposed guest feel uncomfortable. Hopefully he or she will realise that they shouldn't have touched such a delicate subject and will start talking about the weather instead.

"With the crisis and all we're keeping the budget tight..."

Finally the economic crisis has a useful side to it! So you are trying to be economic with your wedding, these days nobody can argue with that!

"We have always dreamed of an intimate wedding."

Ah the intimacy card.... what a beauty! This is the most subtle way to tell someone: "you're not family, you're not a friend, I don't even know you that well, so why on earth should you be invited to my wedding?" They won't feel excluded or sad because, when someone asks them:"why weren't you invited?" they can proudly say "ahhhh it was an intimate thing, I wouldn't feel right."

If these don't work try to blame it on the size of your venue, your fiancée's extended family or the number of guests that are bringing kids. One way or another I am sure that your self-imposed guest will realise that this is about you and your other half, and will be happy for you both.